It is becoming increasingly difficult to write anything original about trudging around the same Leicestershire fields without adding details of the lithology and chemical composition of the mud now liberally distributed throughout the house. I’m also pretty good at irritating the hell out of those around me with enthusiastic commentary about the resilience and condition of my boots. So, over the coming weeks and months, I am rather hoping that I can think of something a little more engrossing for this blog before I lose any of my hard-earned band of followers.

Mind you – if I am allowed a moment of trivia. We have a winner re naming the blunder bus! Thanks Hughesie – it is now affectionately known as ‘Snickers’ (may contain nuts, but it’s a marathon really). Hopefully that’s worth a bit of sponsorship in the form of free chocolate from Mars for the duration! If it is, can Mars people please note that I prefer Galaxy, Maltesers, Twix and a Mars itself and not a Snickers bar – sorry. And if anyone from Cadbury is reading, please note that I am a complete tart and willing to change the name of the bus for a years worth of Wispa, Crunchie, Bournville or Fruit & Nut. Oh and Nestle….I’m not averse to calling it Yorkie or Aero either. And there’s me wondering why I gain weight so easily.

Having completed over 1100 miles of training, I am now getting increasingly impatient and twitchy by the day.  If it wasn’t for the logistical set-up I think I would have started two weeks ago. But no I can’t. So now is my time to wind the training bit down and give some time to more logistical prep work, kit out the motorhome and spend a bit of valuable time at home.  Yes, I am a more than a little apprehensive. Yes, I question my sanity almost hourly. Yes, I worry about the continuing conveyor belt of storms hitting the South West and yes, I question every single aspect of the logistics. In truth the logistics are and need to be flexible and informal but my main worry is that the crux can collapse easily if the support drivers pull out or if Snickers fails catastrophically. To counter that, I picked up Snickers from St Helens and drove it over the Thelwall Viaduct in a howling gale – it passed test 1. I now have it in for a service and cam belt change – test 2. As for the support drivers – all seems a little quiet. I am rather hoping it stays that way as any pulling out or date changing will probably bring me out in nasty rash.

The weather is a real concern. Will that jet stream ever shift? I really feel for the people of the South West and though I am thoroughly fed up with storm after storm, the East Midlands has hardly had the perpetual onslaught that they have had to endure. I equally feel a little guilty to be entering their area in search of the odd overnight favour or two when they will be in the midst of yet another clean-up. Maybe I should take a JCB with a trailer load of sandbags and a high volume pump instead of Snickers.

Right, I suppose I’d better get back to some planning and check on the state of the South West Coast Path and their excellent route changes page.

I suppose my run of luck on the health and injuries front had to tumble at some point.

Having felt as strong as at any other time covering 18 more wet miles on Monday, Tuesday’s 20 miles was cut to 18 due to general malaise. Wednesday was abandoned to seek recovery and by Thursday a short 6 mile dog walk was as much as I could manage and an utterly exhausting experience. Even walking up the hill out of the village was more sapping than a scree slope scramble. Man-flu had struck!

Hence Thursday night was spent sitting up in bed privately grumbling my way through a selection of TV movies with an excess of aches, coughs and pathetic snuffles.  I watched John Thaw and Dennis Waterman ham it up in the 1977 movie version of ‘The Sweeney’ on ITV4 with mild, totally unjustifiable, anger for my family for importing a plethora of viruses specifically aimed at my infection. It was probably wise that I didn’t watch ‘Kill Bill: Vol. 2’ on Dave instead.

Rather than make things worse I elected to take Friday off from walking to sort out my kit, cough a bit, research overnight stops, cough a bit more, tidy  the study, keep coughing and make a general nuisance of myself by regularly interrupting Kate for a chat (and another cough) whilst she worked from home in the kitchen. I was productive in all areas. Indeed, I was so successful that Kate even decided to take the dogs out for a walk to escape me, my coughs and prove quite unnecessarily that she is perfectly capable of coping in my absence.

Oh…and lest I forget. Happy Birthday Gemma! A child no more and someone who has certainly got her head screwed on better than I had at her age. Actually, if I think about it, she beats me now!

Lets not try to over-egg the pudding. After all I’m not attempting to pull a sled to the South Pole, run an ultra-marathon in the Sahara or disappear off to Afghanistan to defuse IEDs. But with less than 4 weeks before I start, I reckon I am just beginning to get a small insight into the psychological stresses generated at home when more adventurous people than I will ever be prepare for expeditions or long tours of duty abroad.

My life has become dominated by this little project and my preoccupation is probably more of a trial to those who are close to me. I suspect that Kate can’t wait to see the back of me, my obsession and my growing selfish sensitivity and irritation to any words of doubt or upset at my impending absence. But I also suspect that I am going to miss the family and comforts of home much more than my family think I will.

Despite some enlightened listening to Radio 4’s ‘Woman’s Hour’ as I walk, I now find the training boring, repetitive and yet strangely addictive. I get restless and ratty when I take a day off and I worry incessantly about how the family will thrive. Equally strangely, I now worry much less than I did about  logistical coordination and I am quietly confident that if and when the plan slips I will find a way to make it work. But then I worry that this little project will eat into the old finances more than it should and probably ruin the chances of returning to the remnants of a career afterwards.

I am now more than just itching to get going. I need to be out there.  Yet I am becoming increasingly terrified of what I might have let myself in for. I fear embarrassment through failure of any kind, but I fear injury and not capability. I realistically understand that there isn’t much I can do if injury strikes with real consequence and that minor injuries and fatigue are going to take their toll. But…. Hey! It’s only a bloody walk!  So stop being a woose, and just get on with it Hilly!

N.B. Due to the persistent inclement weather….Item for shopping list:    WADERS!!!

This might be a cynical tactic, but I wonder whether this picture will soften the hearts of potential corporate supporters enough for them to help me with some of my costs?

Methinks that 63 miles in three days and a good bath might be a tad much for my training partners. Though I might add that Willow the cat didn’t even come. Introducing Bramble (left) and Bracken!

Seeking support for some of my expenses continues to prove depressingly tough. It’s essentially a process of getting repeatedly ignored or fended off by a shield of Corporate Responsibility Managers who tuck themselves behind a single nominated charity and / or ‘Corporate Policy’.

Now please don’t get me wrong. I am fully aware that in not being a high-profile celebrity or elite athlete with the prospect of prime-time publicity or a TV series of my venture I am unlikely to be able to give a corporate sponsor the return they really seek  (though I will try, promise). I also fully understand any genuine reasoning due to lack of a budget. In my old business world I was quite adept at having to explain away unexpected and sometimes chunky over-spends. Nevertheless, budget restrictions were still a genuine reason I had to use on many occasions. So if you can help – please get in touch. I have a real desire not to be bankrupt by the end of this project and could do with help for the following: Fuel and gas (est. £3,000), basic food and provisions (est. £4,200), boots and kit (est. £1,000), insurance for the motorhome and free stopovers with facilities for the odd bath, laundry and occasional comfy bed.

In chasing support, I have to say that the generosity of smaller organisations and individuals is much more encouraging. Any support, whether large or small, is something that raises a big fat cheesy grin and an excited skip to my step every time. Whether it is the generosity of a complete stranger, or that of a friend or old business contact, my motivation takes a little leap forward with every act of kindness. As a small return to their investment, all of my business supporters to date have a deserved page of their own.

Now then….  Much more importantly than any of my bleating above, I have just opened a Virgin Money Giving page to accept all donations to the SIA and MSNTC. This can also be accessed via my Donations page and will remain live for the next 12 months. So please have a little dig in your wallet, purse or pocket and see if you can’t cough up loads of your hard-earned, begged, freshly laundered or inherited cash and give it to two excellent causes. The more you give, the fewer excuses I have to give up. So go on – make me suffer!

In other news: Mud, miles, mud, miles, family colds sniffling and coughing all around me, more mud, a few more miles….errr….that’s it really!

With another week completed, the training total now exceeds 800 miles and I have apparently ascended Everest twice – though I have yet to suffer from altitude sickness or frostbite in the Vale of Belvoir. Oops – is that fate I’ve just tempted again??? Anyway I hope nobody minds if I admit to being a little chuffed at having put 102 miles on the training clock this week as well as taking some time to acquire a motorhome.

For the record, it also happens to be my first ever century. Yes, I might have been a reasonably keen cricketer who played at club level for over 30 years, but for most of those years I was a swing bowler who in later years and after a knee operation, bizarrely converted to a 2nd XI lower-order batsman and wicket-keeper. I might have scored a good hand-full of 50’s but only on the rare occasion when I was coerced into opening the innings when the team was short-handed and believe me – that was rare.  So this walking ton does have a rather nice feeling about it even if I am aware that I need to exceed the feat every single week for 10 months if I am to complete 5,000 miles and be home for Christmas. And – by the way – my best sporting feat was never on a cricket square anyway. It was in a marathon canoe race….but that’s another story.

So, yes, the Blunder Bus is on order from a top man who could not have been more helpful – thanks Ian. All it needs now is insuring, collecting, equipping and understanding. Oh ….and yes – it needs a name. Kate has  suggested ‘Bella’ but I’d like to open this a little wider and invite suggestions. All are welcome and for trivial reasons I will put the best, filtered for cleanliness, up for an online vote.

To finish for today – I’d like to thank prospective support driver Simon and the friendly members of the Grimsby Fell Walking and Climbing Club who I joined for a stroll around the nether regions of Charnwood Forest today. Though Simon and I have worked for the same company for over 20 years, we’d never met. So when he rashly responded to a work intranet article and volunteered for three weeks in my company, I thought it wise that he complete a ‘prat check’.  Well it seems I passed – as he’s inked into my schedule now.  Today made a refreshing change to my usual walks and I don’t think I was being overly generous in sharing out some of my local mud and frivolous conversation with people and not sheep.

Before Christmas I tempted fate with the weather. Since then, the wind and rain have outperformed themselves with the worst set of storms for 20 years. Conclusion – I’m NOT tempting fate EVER again! If I carry on like this I will undoubtedly have to replace a washing machine clogged with mud and explore whether I can grow Gore-Tex as a second skin.

Positively, I completed 95 more miles (700 miles in all so far) and have successfully worn in another pair of boots. The driver support is also coming along nicely (though there are still plenty of gaps to fill…hint hint) and I am rediscovering friends I haven’t spoken to for many years. I am also delightfully surprised by the generosity and kindness of complete strangers. Having scoured the internet for a suitable motorhome I think I may have found one and the seller (you know who you are – Ian) is proving extremely helpful and generous.  All things being equal,  my Blunder Bus is on its way, especially if someone can help finance it for me. Which brings me neatly to…. my hunt for sponsors, which is now becoming a priority.

I am acutely aware that this project and the accompanying logistics could prove very expensive and seriously damaging to my personal finances. So, I am hoping – and not expecting – to attract some business sponsors to help me with some of the costs, be it a motorhome, fuel, gas, insurance, provisions, kit,  stopovers or even – he said with a vague hope – the lot. I’m more than happy to help any sponsor get a return, be it in the form of decals on a bus touring the entire coast, thanks and prominence in this website (1400 hits already) and talks or presentations when available. I am also aware that the charities want to do numerous press releases on the way round, though I am resisting this in the early days as I fear tempting fate along with the accompanying utter embarrassment if I were to break my leg ten minutes after setting off.

I know it’s not easy. I too have been on the other end of begging phone calls and emails. It was only a few months ago that I had control of a chunky budget. Though if the truth be known, my former bosses would probably say that my methods of obtaining (blagging) capital money were a tad sporting and that I was well versed at finding legitimate reasons for an operating budget overspend. However, if I had a call or email from a worthy cause or project, I’d like to think that I at least replied even if I couldn’t find a hole in my budget.

I also hope you don’t mind if I also bore you with a little addendum today.  In my wandering muses I have to admit that I’m a little dismayed at the sounds of the countryside at this time of year. Apart from the occasional far-carrying pheasant crow and the distant plaintive mewing of a buzzard, the only other sounds not drowned out by the incessant wind are the regular paired cracks of shotgun fire.

Now I don’t see myself as a born again eco-warrier. I accept killing to eat, be it fish or game and I also accept that sometimes animals need to be controlled, particularly when they are a genuine threat to livestock. But I do find it a little disturbing in this modern age to see and hear killing purely for the fun of it. When I asked one fatigues clad loner unloading his shotgun from the rear of his 4×4 pick-up the other day what he was hunting the reply was “squirrels”.  When asked a simple “Why?” he responded with a clueless shrug and I just walked on.   Later the same day another 4×4 drove past me on a bridleway and the two occupants barely acknowledged my existence. As I peeked into the back of their truck I spotted the carcass of a freshly shot fallow deer. I’d only ever spotted one fallow deer locally and it was becoming almost tame with familiarity. I’ve not seen it since.

With most of Christmas Day spent in the car nipping southwards to happily see that Kate’s mum is getting better, followed by a Boxing Day with the what can politely be described as a dodgy tum after a soggy Christmas dinner service station sandwich, it was still a lovely yet quietly different Christmas. With the need to stay close to comfortable facilities I had a few days off from anything more than a 6 mile loop with the dogs. So today I finally ventured out into the wind and rain again for 17 more muddy miles and all was good with the world.

I was pleasantly surprised to average over 3.6 miles per hour and the occasional glimpse of a very weak sun brought two sunny songs out of me at full volume. I’m sure Bill Withers and George Harrison wouldn’t be overly impressed with my tone or my recollection of the lyrics, but I enjoyed myself. At least I did until a flock of sheep gave me a collective vacant stare that brought me back in to the conscious world. After that I spent the next twenty minutes attempting, with very little success, to remember as many songs about the sun as I could. Guess what?  Yes. There is a web-site:  http://coolrain44.wordpress.com/2009/07/08/songs-about-sun-sunshine/

I am now really beginning to think that I need a change of scenery and that I need to get on with this walk and soon. Worryingly, I’ve even started to name the individual fields that I regularly pass through in a less imaginative but slightly Tolkeinesque way. So far I have: The Field of Glum, The Field of Glee, The Field of Gloom and The Field of Gladness. To me the names reflect the way I feel as I pass through them. In truth there is not a lot to choose between them other than the depth of mud.

And now for homework – it’s time to hunt out some more sponsors. If I don’t get sponsors, this project is going to seriously hurt my wallet and it has already been bruised thanks to Christmas. So – if any good hearted readers out there can help, or point me in the direction of help, I would gladly promote their support on this site, put decals on any motorhome and do talks, presentations or anything to help make it work. ViewRanger have already helped and I will happily be using their product every day as it was always my preferred choice of digital map.  I am looking for help for the following:

1. A motorhome (2nd, 3rd or 4th hand, reliable 4,5,6 berth yet compact for country lanes)
2. Fuel and Gas for the motorhome
3. Insurance too
4. Food and provisions throughout the event
5. Boots and walking kit (I have two new pairs of boots – one exchanged by Salomon on warranty and my clothes are beginning to fall off me due to my decreasing size)
6. Stopovers with facilities for the odd bath, laundry and occasional comfortable bed.

So if you just so happen to be reading this and are the CEO of a global corporate giant or even if you run the local corner shop – I’m your man! Please get in touch.

Well I tempted the fate of the British weather with my last post and yesterday fate took full advantage and tested my kit to its limits. 20 miles of horizontal rain and gale force winds did their best to make it a joyous pre-Christmas outing.

At one point during my water-borne facial acupuncture session I managed to tot up that I was wearing 17 items of clothing  and would have made a difficult man to beat in a game of strip poker. And even then I could have counted my watch for an all-in bet and 18th item.

So – how did the kit perform? Pretty well for the first three hours. But I now have a radiator covered with drying clothes and that includes my underpants. Conclusion: I think that waterproofs are great for short-term downpours, but for long-term exertion even the best don’t breath that well when they are sodden with rain on the outside and growing condensation and sweat on the inside.

All in all it was a great day and very heartening to know that I can literally weather the storm without acquiring double pneumonia.

On the down side and a little more seriously, I arrived home to find out that Kate’s mum is in hospital with pretty horrendous head injuries following a nasty fall.  My own priorities need to slip backstage for a little while as nothing is that important. I hope that her mum gets better fast and that her Christmas is not completely spoilt.

That’ll do for a few days as I need to finish wrapping, get the logs in for the fire and have a day or two not wearing out my boots too early.

Merry Christmas

Tempting fate, somehow I have been exceedingly lucky in dodging the worst of the British winter weather. In saying that, maybe I am just missing out on perfect opportunities to acclimatise.  And as we close in on Christmas and turn the corner of the shortest day of the year at least I can gradually relax the need to chase the daylight hours and look forward to a blissful 2014 of soft sunshine and gentle breezes… errrrr methinks not!

It’s always great to meet or beat a few targets and if this week is anything to go by – I’ve tagged more than a few!

In training this week I’ve totted up over 80 miles with 60 miles completed over 3 days … bang on my target distance…whahay!   To date I have now covered more than 550 training miles with 44, 000 ft of ascent and achieved every incremental goal set. With every injury free mile, my confidence in actually being able to do this walk grows. The sane part of my head still insists that I need to be sectioned for missing out on rich pickings by refusing to chase any freelance consultancy work. Nahhhhhhh…insanity is ALL mine! Though I have to admit that huge pangs of worry and guilt about leaving my family behind are probably the hardest to overcome and even vaguely justify.

So what else? I’ve now lost 18 pounds in weight and my moobs have nigh on vanished.  I never set any weight loss target so this is a real bonus. It is gratifying not having to see the bathroom scales grimace quite so much as I approach. The only down side is that all my kit is beginning to hang off me and I’m loathed to have to dig into my pockets to re-equip myself with expensive trousers, base-layers and tops. At least I don’t need to consider support bras anymore. So, unless I can find a kit sponsor (hint hint) I suspect I will be watching out for bargains on eBay re unwanted Christmas presents.

The most notable target achieved is that I now have support drivers to cover the entire SW England section. If I can now get commitment from a few more (another hint hint) to fill the Welsh section by New Year then I will just have to go out and acquire a second / third / fourth hand motorhome in January. Again, if I can possibly find a sponsor to help acquire, insure, fuel and heat the ‘Blunder Bus’ then maybe, just maybe, I won’t be entirely bankrupt by this time next year. And yes this is my last MASSIVE HINT for today.

So, all in all, the project is still very much on. Doubts abound but they are losing the battle and ease away with every conversation I might have with my nearest and dearest.

Oh yes…..I also could do with a food and provisions sponsor…….oops I think that was another hint. AND I need some more boots!